Becker: "I once ate a shoe"

Former tennis star, Boris Becker, has today admitted that he once ate a shoe shaped like Abraham Lincoln on a Thursday which he had mistaken for a cake.
The admission came at an event where Boris was booked as the after-dinner speaker.
Many guests walked out when the story was told.

The £3,948.26 per head event had caused some controversy, as it had been planned to take place underwater.
But the Thames Committee had turned down the event application.
London Mayor Boris Johnson felt this was a little harsh, but later admitted he was too busy trying to figure out how to use his toaster to care.

Meanwhile Becker has vowed to continue with his after-dinner spokesman career.





Boris Becker, yesterday.

Giant Hedgehog Eats Milton Keynes

It can be confirmed that Milton Keynes has been eaten by a giant hedgehog.

The incident happened just after 2.30pm and was apparently an unprovoked attack.

A UN peacekeeping force have been deployed and are currently preparing for a counter attack, which SWN believes will be carried out from near Luton.

The hedgehog is currently believed to be sleeping off a massive meal of Southern folk and various buildings.

It had saved many vehicles for dessert.

We can confirm many people had been tried to run for it, but had been impaled on hedgehog spikes.

The Prime Minister Gordon Brown was unavailable for comment, but a spokesman for the PM had hinted that Mr Brown was feeling "quite agitated".