Fighting Penguins Disrupt Antwerp

A killer pigeon prepares to attack in Antwerp, earlier today

Residents of the Belgian city Antwerp have been trapped in doors fearing for their safe being, in face of a spate of incidents involving violent pigeons.

The pigeons started causing havoc late last night, turning over parked cars and eating a pet cat.

The cat's owner is too upset to talk at present.

Local police have recorded reports of over twenty incidents where members of the public were attacked by several penguins at once, whilst walking the streets.

Some eye witness accounts reveal that the penguins were actually fighting amongst themselves before turning the focus of their attacks on people.

One man in his early thirties suffered a broken leg, a broken wrist and had his head completely removed then put back on upside-down.

We believe he is making steady progress in hospital.

One woman wasn't so fortunate.

She was taken to Luxembourg.

Scientists in the Beveren region are trying to come to a conclusion on to why the attacks are occurring with such alarming frequency.

However, at this stage they haven't yet made it out of a local bar; but we will have details as they come.

In the meantime, pigeon combat experts have warned local residents not to leave their homes unless it is absolutely necessary.

A local brewer is planning to call on the services of Jean Claude Van Damne who has recently setup a pigeon extermination company, based in Azerbaijan.

Despite being incredibly lame, Van Damne is still amazingly popular in his native Belgium.