The Crown & Cheesegrater pub in Wycombe was closed as an emergency situation arose in the most unusual circumstances.A 12ft Arctic polar bear came into the lounge bar and seemingly made the decision to eat a barmaid, after she refused to serve the bear a pint of the award-winning Wadsworth's Bagel Armpit pale ale.
Regulars in the pub were seen to be "running around screaming like a load of big girls in frilly dresses", as observed by the landlord Damian Sockbridge.
The landlord rectified the situation by appealing for the bear to remain calm, and offered the bear an alternative tipple.
The bear ripped off the landlords right hand and hit a customer repeatedly with the wet end.
One frightened customer left without even eating a just purchased bag of hula-hoops.
The bear made the following statement to the National Association for English Polar Bears:
"Grrrlllloooooorrrrrgggghhhhhh oooooaaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhhh. Yep."
The bookmaker Bet Fred has stopped taking bets on Djimi Traore for the flavour of hula-hoops that were left behind in the fracas.
The current betting:
Djimi Traore 11-589.4 Fav, Sweet Radish 4-2, Banana & Otter 5-1,Kidney Cider & Kneepads 7-1, Salt & Westlife 8-1,Wet Shoelaces 10-1, Fireman Sam 77-3, The Colour Green 219-1
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