Suspected killer and ice-cream fondler, Lord Lucan, has been found alive and well in Premiership club, Manchester City's trophy room.The room which has not been used since the early seventies, was opened to let the stench of mediocrity escape, when the discovery was made."It was him alright..." said Michael Jackson, who was there on a week long trial as a corner flag, "I instantly recognised his face and his hair ......and his lovely soft hands...and his pert little bottom", added the ghostly white freak.
Club officials immediately phoned the local takeaway for some pizza and then held a meeting in a nearby mortuary (players lounge), to discuss what to do next."We have decided to give Lord Lucan the chance to give himself up to the authorities...or we will be forced to give him a place in our upcoming midweek match", said the club tea-lady.
When asked about the situation, club manager Sven Goran Erikson would only say "He's a good lad, an' were 100% behind him...he just needs to show the commitment that I, and everyone else, expect from a former killer, who wants to make it in the world of mid-table football."
Geovanni celebrates scoring
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