David Cameron today shocked members of an over 55's crown green bowling club, by rolling around on the ground and shouting "I am cauliflower" to all and sundry.
Cameron, who celebrated his 912th birthday today, has only just taken over the patronage of the Chesterfield over 55's crown green bowling club as part of his birthday celebrations.
Cameron, who celebrated his 912th birthday today, has only just taken over the patronage of the Chesterfield over 55's crown green bowling club as part of his birthday celebrations.
Members were stunned by Cameron's antics and eventually they were forced to have Cameron removed by the East Kilbride formation dancing and aerobics team.
"It was a disgrace" commented Reginald Takamoto McTeeth "I've been a member for 23 minutes but have never seen such a nuisance in all my time here. He should be flogged at dawn. Then shot. Then eaten by squirrels. And cut in half. And bopped on the head repeatedly with a large herring."
The club secretary, Archibald Leopold Benitez Aguilera whom has been a member for 156 centuries, stated "The club has been forced to ban cauliflower impersonators from its premises from this day forth. As for Mr David Cameron, his membership has been revoked and to be quite frank he is regarded as a bit of a nitwit around Chesterfield. On a personal note, I'd like to point out that I think Mr Cameron makes for a pathetic cauliflower but for a great twat."
Cameron was available for comment, but he was insistent on wearing leaves and telling us he was a cauliflower at high volume.
Therefore we declined his interview.
Cameron was available for comment, but he was insistent on wearing leaves and telling us he was a cauliflower at high volume.
Therefore we declined his interview.
Members of the 1996 Crystal Palace football team however have taken Cameron under their wing.
Current reports state that Cameron is making fine progress under the watchful eye of Mark Bright and Geoff Thomas.
Only time will tell whether there is any hope of redemption for this estranged Dave.
Current reports state that Cameron is making fine progress under the watchful eye of Mark Bright and Geoff Thomas.
Only time will tell whether there is any hope of redemption for this estranged Dave.
A cauliflower pretending to be Simon Cowell,
taken at the international festival of vegetable
celebrity impersonators, Hong Kong 1967
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